Curmudgeon Corner

So article writing has once again begun. Our first issue comes out the first day of school. Each staff writer gets a column. This year I have one called "The Curmudgeon Corner". Its basically going to be filled with strange, sometimes humorous, sometimes serious musings on culture and society. To please the editor I have been asked to tie it into the theme of each of our issues. The first issue is "The Manifesto Issue". In addition, I have been asked to keep it under 800 words. Anyways, here is my first "curmudgeon corner" piece. Its pretty out of control and I am not entirely sure if I should be ashamed or proud of it. (like most things in my life) In addition, I might be put on a government watch list and/or go to hell because of this.

O’holy and anointed Unabomber…Bring us Back the Car Chase

Faced with a deteriorating environment, catastrophic climate events, overpopulation and an escalating disparity between first and third world countries, it is difficult to determine one’s actions in these times. As earth’s problems mount, our lives simultaneously have become increasingly technological. While creating more convenience, such technology has also caused our privacy and liberties to begin disappearing. Nevertheless, we continue to become interconnected with the inventions of our new, electronic age with little standing up against such progress.
A wholly different world has begun to take shape and the outcome of all of these 'advances' is still unknown. The world is faced with some new and difficult issues that must be dealt with and the imperative question has arisen; how we will deal with these problems?
According to some the answer has already been stated. We have chosen the machine to save us.
Unless you’re Ted “Unabomber” Kaczynski.
Luddites! Anarcho-primitivists! Skeptics of progress, technology and our modern world! Meet your Christ.
Despite his radical actions, Kaczynski isn’t entirely an incoherent psychopath. What many may not know is that Kaczynski wrote a heated manifesto, with many logical and interesting points that any bike-riding, quasi environmentally-conscious Portlander would probably agree with.
Ted’s Industrial Society and Its Future spends its time rooted in addressing early post-Hegelian questions: What are we losing from nature in our evolution and what is progress?
“Among the abnormal conditions present in modern industrial society are excessive density of population, isolation of man from nature, excessive rapidity of social change and the break-down of natural small-scale communities such as the extended family, the village or the tribe.” states article 47.
According to Ted, advances in technology have caused humans to replace real, important activity and goals with what he refers to as “surrogate activity”.
“…a human being needs goals whose attainment requires effort, and he must have a reasonable rate of success in attaining his goals.” states Kaczynski.
Ted writes that increased technology and our modern world allow and cause us to create goals which require little effort. This “activity” allows us to have goals for the sake of having a goals which result in selfish behavior and perversion of society. Kaczynski directly blames conservatives for this and the supposed irresponsibility of many scientists.
“The conservatives are fools…they enthusiastically support technological progress and economic growth. You can't make drastic changes in technology without causing rapid changes in all other aspects of the society as well…such rapid changes inevitably break down traditional values...” states article 50.
Is Kaczynski a prophet? Maybe that’s too far. However, parts of his manifesto are more heated and moving that anything since Mao’s red book.
Thomas Pynchon in a 1984 New York Times article titled Is it OK to be a Luddite? wrote on similar subjects concerning advanced technology. Pynchon determines that the speed of technological advances will eventually overcome and force the modern Luddite to view such progress in a positive light.
Similar to Kaczynski, Pynchon deduces that supporters of advancing technology (conservatives to Kaczynski) have control and the only thing we can do is prepare ourselves for the problems of the unchangeable future.
" …the average poor bastards are completely outclassed. We are all supposed to keep tranquil and allow it to go on…it becomes every day less possible to fool any of the people any of the time…” writes Pynchon.
The words of Ted’s manifesto and Pynchon may spur fits of passion and rage but we must try to deduce from them what can reasonably be achieved. The world cannot return to pre-Industrial Revolution times. Yet, there is one thing that we as Americans can do; bring back a good car chase.
It may seem strange but driving fast successfully is the critical act of modern man asserting himself with control and style over the machine. Furthermore, it is the ultimate expression of the modern individual faced with an impending goal that he/she must use with both skill and intelligence to obtain.
In the recent onslaught of our technological revolution the essence of the car chase is disappearing. Our nation’s law enforcement now have the ultimate and most sophisticated tools of surveillance. Thus, the car chase now is something that is easily observe and quickly halted before it ever gets interesting.
With each new car chase, the first steps back towards a level of balance between technology, the freedom of the individual and nature begin to develop.
Ted and Mr. Pynchon may consider the car chase superfluous and a surrogate activity. However, within the context of what can realistically be achieved, the absurdity of the necessity for the car chase is lessened.
Just imagine what America would be without “On the Road” by Kerouac? Or without such films as “Bullitt” or “The Getaway” both starring Steve McQueen?
Like it or not, it’s an important facet of who we are as Americans.